• Benia Richardson

Op-Ed: Father's Day banned - You're kidding, right?



An old tweet has been circulating asking “should Father’s Day be banned…?”


First and foremost, excuse me while I say a little something, something to all the ones that deserve to be celebrated:


Salute to all fathers just for contributing half to bringing forth life. We can’t act like their initial role didn’t play a major part in creating a life for so many blessings and a double salute to the men that stand as Dad or Daddy; be it grand-, step-, god- or foster. We honor you for what you do and for who you are to so many in need of positive male guidance. Thank you for your perseverance through all the storms that life has thrown at you, thus far. We appreciate you for enduring the tests that strengthened you to who we now know you to be. Embrace your experiences and as result, we take heed to the expertise you’re so willing to share. Whoever you are to the world, we admire your ability to keep what’s most special just for us.


Now that we’ve made the necessary acknowledgments, let’s get down to business, shall we?


Daniella, do me a favor and come close for this one. Your hashtag, “#feminism”, is downright offensive to those of us that understand the mission, the task at hand, the common goal, and the overall objective. At no point in time should it ever be acceptable for the exclusion of proper recognition for a group of people, especially, not for those that identify with what our society needs.


Still lost, Herzog? I figured as much. Allow me to help you out by utilizing this response to your irrational inquiry as a teachable moment. As some of us do, I could have chosen to bash and belittle your small-mindedness for such a request, instead, I’d rather educate you and empower you in the broadening of your cognition. I can only pray that your psyche is a more positive one, after this.


Let's just have the uncomfortable conversation with consideration and compassion. At no point would I ever suggest that we not address the realities of the devastation of absent fathers across so many homes. Even exploring the unfortunate commonality as to why it is that too many of us are closest with our mother’s side of the family and not our father’s side is a mystery. The method and route to which you arrive at a much-needed answer is not exclusion. While we need to address shortcomings by calling them out, we must practice couth if we truly want a resolution. Couth is not spelled e-x-p-u-l-s-i-o-n. It’s also not synonymous with the cancel culture. What I hear is that you are looking to be inclusive to same-sex couples that might find offense in the celebration of Father’s Day. I find it annoying how bent out of shape some choose to be over others choosing to celebrate holidays. It’s rather simple, if you don’t believe in the holiday or if you just don’t like the concept, opt-out. Choose not to recognize or celebrate it. It doesn’t need to turn into a Scrooge-like scenario, because people around you will respect your choice even if they may not agree. The only time it may cause conflict is if it’s not a genuine sentiment and used as an attention-seeking tactic.



Here it is that you suggest same-sex mothering couples might be offended by Father’s Day and it should be banned, but what about same-sex fathering couples? In a scenario where two fathers are providing an excellent environment filled with love, support, and opportunities, should those Dads not be recognized? Shut up, girl! And in return, would you honor a request to ban Mother’s Day for the same offense? See how you’re not making any sense? Unless, you agree with the continuation of an agenda set out to cancel the very things that people can find joy, pride, and hope within. Uh oh, Karen...I mean Daniella. I’m a bit concerned. It’s not just that you made this notion but that you must truly feel this within your hardened heart all in the name of feminism. Quite frankly, as a black woman born and raised in America, I’m ashamed of you for this. I’m totally aware that one must be clear about one's demands and never make outlandish remarks “in the name of my cause”. It simply sets us back.


What efforts are you contributing to the Feminist Movement by suggesting something that I’d hope not many other feminists share in sentiment? It’s a suggestion of stagnation. Wouldn’t you much rather push a fresh revelation forward based on insight? I’m a single mother and I am not, nor have I ever been, offended by Father’s Day. I understand that it is not my day to be celebrated, and that’s ok, I have my own. It shouldn’t be banned because it would take so much unnecessary rallying efforts to discontinue a day that is set aside for so many that deserve recognition. Would we hear the notion of single people banning Valentine’s Day? No, you simply tell them not to celebrate it if they so choose. Daniella, cut it out! You got me hot about this one.



The mission and vision seem to be a bit foggy to those on the outside, but apparently, to Feminists & Associates as well; if they’re claiming you. Feminism like any other movement should never bask in the exclusion of others; nor should it discount different beliefs. Instead, it should be sure to welcome others while ensuring the proper and effective representation to work collaboratively with consistent forward motion. In short, Feminism should be the pool where people are confident to pull from when they wish to address an issue in need of a solid feminine opinion; voice. It should be where people find assurance in a safe space to seek the expertise necessary for feminine matters. One may only find that level of confidence in a safe space via relationship and representation.


So, I’m sorry Daniella Herzog, but your chances of ever becoming Feminist Council President is pretty slim to none! As for Father’s Day, it’s staying. Have a happy one!